Sunday, November 30, 2008

Pucker UP!

Shouldn't magic marker always be lipstick? I am grateful for the things toddlers to that make me laugh. Thanks Christy.

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Autumn Blessings

Leaves are falling all around, on the house tops, on the ground. Mow them up, rake them into piles, what ever you do, it's a lot of fun. I am grateful for Hannah, McKayla, Carter and Bree for making it so much fun to rake up leaves!

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Angels amoung us

To preface this post I have to tell you about my friend Betty Guerber. Betty must have reminded me of my mother; warm, loveing and always with an encourageing word, always happy to see me. She would stop me and tell me about seeing my kids do something nice, or tell us nice things about us as a family - so you can see why I love her. She was one of our RS presidents. She passed away about 3 years ago. Ok that's who Betty is.

On Monday night I was lying in bed dreading to go to Chemo the next day. It isn't that it's so difficult, it's not. I just didn't want to have to endure a week of feeling fatigue, gassy, bloated, chemically poisened etc. So in other words, I was dreading it. Eventually I fell asleep but at some time in the early hours of the morning- you know when you are not sure if you are dreaming or if you are awake, Betty came and gave me a big hug and told me how much I am loved. I saw her whole being. She looked wonderful. I felt wonderful and all of my fear and trepidation went compleatly away leaving me with peace about going to Chemo that day. I felt like I was being comforted and supported by family and friends beyond the veil. They know what's going on and how I'm feeling.

In Jeffery R. Hollands Oct 2008 conference talk: (which I slept through while in the hospital and just read this morning) The ministry of Angels; he says: " ... God has used angels as His emissaries in conveying love and concern for his children...Usually such beings are not seen. Sometimes they are. But seen or unseen they are always near. Sometimes their assignments are very grand and have significance for the whole world. Sometimes the messages are more private. Occaionally the angelic purpose is to warn. But most often it is to comfort, to provide some form of merciful attention, guidance in difficult times." Elder Holland goes on to talk about earthly angels and ends with this: "May we all believe more readily in, and have more gratitude for, the Lord's promise as contained in one of President Monson's faviorite scripture: "I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, spirit shall be in your [heart] and mine angels round about you to bear you up."D&C 84:88

So Chemo went fine, but the night after wasn't all that wonderful and the infusion flush had some glitches, but I was calm and not stressed over the little things and for that I am thankful for the angels beyond the veil who love and support me, and for the angels here right now who love and support me. Thank you.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The blessing of WHOLENESS

I have been thinking about this post for some time. I even mentioned this in an e-mail to my family because it made such an impact on me. Part 1: On October 9, when I was recovering from the abdominal surgery I woke up with a feeling of "wholeness" It was as though as I moved and stretched my mind knew that my body no longer contained the "evil, nasty cancer" I felt whole. That's the only way I can describe it. I savor the moment and hope to continue to have that sweet feeling of completeness again. Part Two: The oncologist wanted me to have a second CT scan to more completely look over the lungs and other organs for any "masses" that may lurk in the dark. It was a "we don't think there are any other cancers, but just to be sure, lets do this Scan." So I did. (Even when you think everything is fine, it's easy to get into a worried, what if - what if - negative mind set. I really didn't have to fight that battle of the mind.) On October 30th when I went in for the port surgery, the Dr. told me that the scan showed NO DISTAL ABNORMALITIES. Which means no little things growing in the dark. I am very relieved and grateful.

Isn't it wonderful that Heavenly Father doesn't need the technology of science to give us the diagnosis for us? He doesn't have to wait for tests. He knows. He let me know. I can trust Him. I am so grateful for that comfort and peace. Even if there were more to worry over, He would be there and help me through it. I am thankful for His love, His peace, His comfort. I am grateful.