Wednesday March 4th: My day
- DIRTY LOUSY ROTTEN FRUSTRATING etc. To begin with, they couldn't get the needle in the port to work. 4 nurses 6-8 sticks. Lying down, sitting up, what ever. Lindsay usually puts the 1 1/2 inch needle in, but she wasn't there today. Must have jinxed it :) So then after an hour of that, they took the needle out and went to talk to the Doctor. Now it's 11:00 - I've been there for 2 hours. My options are: put in a pic line. I asked about stopping chemo now- but with 5 sessions to go--- I WILL NOT do this again in 3 years. In the test trials 12 tx gave the optimal results. I asked about just putting the chemo in a regular IV. NO, the chemo chemicals are too caustic and an IV will not support the infusion pump. I wanted to reschedule for 2 days later and try again but the chemicals were mixed up and I would be charged (boucco bucks) if we didn't use them. I don't have thousands of dollars to waste so I ok'd the pic line. I really didn't want a pic line. What a bother. Naturally they could do it right now - so down to radiology I went. It took about 10 minuets to set up, 5 to wait for the Dr., 5-10 min for the Dr. to do his thing. 5 min for the nurse to suture the pic line and bandage the site and was done. Ready to toodle over to the cancer care center to sit for another 4 hours for the chemo to poison my body. I cried when I got to the car. I really didn't want a pic line. It's so much easier to snag and get infections. They gave me Vet glove to shower with. Lovely red ones that would fit an orangutan. "just put a rubber band on the top when you shower and then after words, wash your arm" No long soaky baths. (which I wasn't having anyway due to the stoma) So I am only supposed to take 2 showers in the next two weeks? I was in the cancer care center for over 6 hours. Next stop: the critical care center for the hook up to the pump. I told her - no sympathy please. I will be fine, just I need some time. She did a great job. Re-did the bandage. Gave me extra supplies and when I left - it was pouring cats and dogs and hail and rain. Lucky I parked in front of the door. So I stopped for french fries on the way home. (comfort food) Now I have on a shirt and sweater and the plastic tube is coming out of my sleeve. How am I going to get my shirt off? The tube is connected to the pump. Lucky me. I like this sweater and now one sleeve will be 10 inches larger than the other.
There must be something good I need to learn from this - like to be grateful they don't have to do surgery to change the port. Or to paraphrase James: It could be worse. I could be sick! I am grateful that in the months this has been going on I haven't had a cold or the flu or thrown up (only once and that was with a headache) I have been lethargic and like a slug - but not sick and I know it's because of all the prayers and love sent my way. Thank you very much! I am grateful for my family and their TLC and protectiveness of me. I am grateful for the miracle of these bodies we have been given and the wonderful way they work. Truly creations of God. I am grateful even for the chemo because its killing all the loose nasties that could turn into cancer tumors and make my life miserable- and except for this grumpiness, I am happy.

Thursday March 5th: The clothes came off just fine. I slept well. Life is good- I just have to watch Jake when I hold him - he wants to chew the tubing.